How we met Online
I met Ty, my online boyfriend of a year, through a mutual friend in the first few weeks of my first year in University. They met on a video game forum, and from there, she introduced me to him in a Skype call one afternoon in between classes.
Ty became a friend to me during a difficult time in the following months. Within second semester, I was going through a huge heartbreak from a guy I was unhealthily infatuated with.
I remember numerous nights I’d worry myself sick over our conversations, always reading into things too much and forcing conversations between us that weren’t there. I went from giddy, to jealous, to feeling ignored. I continuously tried to win him over, and no matter how much I desired him or tried to appeal to him, it never worked.
Ty was always there to give me advice from a male’s perspective that I never had.
Then, I was also dealing with an anxiety disorder that made public situations hard for me. Getting numerous, severe panic attacks in situations the average person would find normal, was something that I had to deal with and was a constant battle every day.
Most days in residence, other than going to class, I was always in my room on my laptop. Ty became apart of my daily routine, and talking to him became something that made me much less lonely, in a lonely time.
Little did I know that it would get much worse once the summer came.
I stayed inside in the comfort and luxury of my air conditioned room, always cancelling plans with people and keeping to myself. I hid myself away from my panic attacks that I seemed to experience whenever I left the house. It became much less of having them due to the situation at hand, rather, due to me expecting them to happen.
By the end of the summer, a family friend visited and witnessed my change in behaviour. It escalated to the point that she was determined to get me some help. I refused, but later on that week got in touch with a psychologist, and began to make changes from there.
Ty always seemed to have an eye on me. He continuously tried to tweet me, replying to my tweets and asking to Skype with me. To this day, I still feel bad for admittedly ignoring him and only putting myself in more misery than I could have been, if I had gone to him to confide in.
In the beginning of September I finally tweeted him back on Twitter, signed into Skype, and had our first video chat in months.
It seemed that with that time apart, it was like meeting for the first time, all over again. It felt like I saw him differently in my eyes, this time around. From the first conversation, deeper feelings sparked within me.
For him, it was all the same.
How we got ‘Together’
Ever since we started talking again, we got closer than we both expected.
Every single night we skyped for hours until I had to reluctantly pull myself away and go to bed before the crack of dawn. Often, during my days I would text him and tell him how much I missed him, or what reminded me of him. There was never a moment I wouldn’t go without thinking of him in some small way.
It wasn’t until the middle of October that he decided to come clean and as well, put me on the spot for my feelings for him.
Knowing him for so long made things easier. I wasn’t nervous when I confessed that I liked him more than a friend. For the first time I wasn’t a giddy, nervous school girl shying away from my crush, but mature and honest about the situation.
We spent the whole entire day talking about the past, and explaining to each other how our feelings progressed over time, and what we were going to do from there.
It goes to show that in my situation, (and what could be yours too) that I fell in love with someone I never expected to.
At first, he was just a mutual friend that I had online, who I didn’t give much credit to during a miserable period of my life. He became so much more, he’s now my other half, my best friend who I have endless things in common with, as well as the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
The person that you’re talking to online, and even dating, could be that too.
The only advice I have for you is to think about what they mean to you, and look at how they’ve helped you along the way. Please, reflect more than how I did in the past. I’m lucky to have gotten a second chance to really get to know him, but you may not have that.
Take grasp of the present and never be afraid to tell your true feelings towards your potential online love.
Your online friend,