Keeping your online relationship a secret from others is something I can relate to, yet, it is something I discourage you from doing.
It’s hard enough opening up to your parents about your personal life, friends who may judge you easily, or relatives that you only see once a year at family get-togethers. But when it’s something most consider out of the ordinary, such as an online relationship, it makes telling the truth that much more difficult.
Like I explained in a past post, anyone who’s in an online relationship fears the prejudice that most have concerning their choice of pursuing a relationship online. The decision to tell those close to you is one that is never made willingly or easily, because you fear the backlash that may take place.
Waiting too long, however, is something you should prevent and not resort to. It hurts both sides, those you’re telling the truth to, as well as the person you’re telling the truth for.
I’ve been in the wrong before too. With my online relationship, there are still some family members that don’t know the true circumstances of how Ty and I met. I know that one day, I need to find the courage to tell them, but it worries me about what they’ll say. It also worries me about keeping it in for too long.
What if he ends up being my husband one day, am I just going to turn around during my vows, and be like, “Oh yeah… by the way, I lied about how I met Ty and the first few years of our relationship,” to majority of my family? There’s no way.
This is why I’m making this post, to help you avoid the pickle I’m currently in.
A good start is when a person asks, “Are you seeing anyone?”
a) You can answer with yes, and explain the entire story right away
b) You can say that you are, except that it’s a complicated situation, which you’ll explain to them another time
c) Let them know immediately that the circumstances are online, and ask for advice
Some points you should bring up:
– That you two have known each other for a while
– That you trust them, and know they’re someone good for you
– That you two were friends in the past
– That you go about certain measures where you know they are who they say they are (ie. webcam, phone, etc.)
Check out this blog post for more of an in-depth discussion on how to have that first talk with your parents.
Yes, online relationships are never easy. Those who you tell know that too, except you don’t need to believe everything they say.
They are just looking out for you and your well being in their own ways.
If you are truly serious about your online love, and know you have been careful and taken all the precautions, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Just believe in yourself and trust that your loved ones will eventually warm up to the idea and welcome your partner with open arms.
I found a girl on youtube who discussed her own experience of telling her parents about her online relationship, and getting to convince them on meeting him face to face.
It takes time for some people to accept unordinary circumstances. She definitely expresses that within her video, but it is also a hopeful representation of what you could have too, in the long run.
There’s really no telling what will happen in time between you and your online love. It’s what makes you excited, and others scared. They can’t foresee the future, and neither can you.
What are your thoughts and advice on online relationships?
Your online friend,